the woods,,, are dark and deep... but i have promises to keep..

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

choose

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER  Star
Choose a dream, choose a place, choose companion, choose a date, choose your rites of passage, choose good music, choose good books, choose you lucky charms, choose your fairies and your demons, choose your fears, choose finding yourself, choose getting lost, choose laughs and dias felices, follow the signs and your fate, and them enjoy the ride .. till the end and say hello to Angels..

Did you know how much I love you?

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

Well, you're my friend and can you see,
Many times we've been out drinkin',
Many times we've shared our thoughts,
But did you ever, ever notice, the kind of thoughts I got?

Well, you know I have a love, a love for everyone I know.
And you know I have a drive to live, I won't let go.
Can you see this opposition comes risin' up sometimes.
That its dreadful imposition, comes blacking through my mind.

And that I see a darkness.
And that I see a darkness.
And that I see a darkness.
Did you know how much I love you?
Is a hope that somehow you,
Can save me from this darkness.

Well, I hope that someday, buddy, we have peace in our lives.
Together or apart, alone or with our wives.
And we can stop our whoring and pull the smiles inside.
And light it up forever and never go to sleep.
My best unbeaten brother, this isn't all I see.

Oh, no, I see a darkness.
Oh, no, I see a darkness.
Oh, no, I see a darkness.
Oh, no, I see a darkness.
Did you know how much I love you?
Is a hope that somehow you,
Can save me from this darkness.

flume

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR
Flume
I am my mother's only one It's enough I wear my garment so it shows Now you know Only love is all maroon Gluey feathers on a flume Sky is womb and she's the moon I am my mother on the wall, with us all I move in water, shore to shore; Nothing's more
Only love is all maroon Lapping lakes like leary loons Leaving rope burns -- Reddish ruse Only love is all maroon Gluey feathers on a flume Sky is womb and she's the moon 

hace años que escribí esto, hoy me lo he vuelto a encontrar.. pero ya no tengo pena:)

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR
el dijo... señor policia he dejado todo... he dejado mi trabajo mi casa,,, lo que no decía en esa declaracion en la aduana que habia dejado el corazon y se habia llevado otro...matando y arrastrando todo a su paso... si el polici SUPIESE SU DELITO LO DETRENDRIA Y CONDENARIA A TRABAJOS FORZADOS PARA REPARAR LA PENA-- LA TRISTEZA... PONIENDOLE MULTAS DE DIAS FELICES QUE CUMPLIR---
dejando sin alma, a lo que se llama desalmado... sin coraza posible sin tiritas... y tiritando.. algo que el viento no podria ver... el invierno heló.. y ahora como dice itoiz" El primer día de la primavera es una cosa y el primer día primaveral, otra diferente. frecuentemente la diferencia entre ellas es más de un mes. Dicen que en el corazón de todos los inviernos vive una primavera palpitante, y detrás de cada noche, viene una aurora sonriente..."

deseooooooooooosssssss deseos

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR
I really love "new years" it is just like another chance to start over again, the counter set ..new life and new chances you have to achieve..
stopping looking backwards and start just walking foward, getting rid off sorrows and tragedies, gazing life through child´s eyes
the checking and balance,, generally a good year,, roaming and getting there, crossing out wishes from my private wishing well..
i started this issue three years ago.. i still have 5 more to fullfill the rest.. here we go.. these are the ones already achieved:
Current state.. so happy to have all these

fulfilled:
*Be in love and feel that love back
*living in a foreign country again and for more than a year, finding myself reinventing my life starting all over again from scracht
*travelling by car around scotland and ireland ( driving myself)
*sleep in the beach
*see u2 in live
*have my own house
*work in the secondary school
*ride a jet sky
*go to music festivals ( benicassim) ,
*sleep in tents in the beach
*Swim in a river
*wear a mini skirt at 31..alassss
*see my sister becoming a woman , a little big woman
*hogmanay in another country ( Ireland, Italy, Scotland, England)
*have a cat
*have laugh attacks and try to make happy people surrounding me
*see eoghain for the last time after february
*live in the canary islands
*speak spanish with him face to face
*find peace of mind and balance
*spend a night in Alhambra palace hotel ( since i started studying i got this for ages)
*have a car
*a massage in the arab baths in granada
*visit the alhambra again
*paragliding
*get the teaching post
*find time for me ..
*get the last tattoo
*watch movies at night with eog
(get the projector next time)
*see my friend marcos again in valencia
*live with lolyta
*ski

*go to a spa centre
*run marathons
*come back home at dawn..
*get a fly costume
*came back to glasgow and get lost and a coffee in the offshore
*go to th gft
* travel to New Zealand and Venice
*see bruce springteen in hampdem
*spent summer in scotland
the ones i still have to fulfill, ok i have 5 years more , no rush,,,written in green ( the best colour) the hope colour

* four L leading my life :Love, laughter, light y Life
*move my arse to scotland and live with Eoghain
*see the croft in Gairlogh built
*Find a job in Scotland
*Build our house wherever
*wake up with Eog every morning
*travel around Europe with a camper van
*get the grant auxiliar de conversacion aqui en escocia
*weak every morning with a kiss
*see my family very happy
*get old happy and young
*do theatre again
*see the northen lights
*go to stonehenge in midsummer night
*travel...,to india, dubroknick, Argentina ( south america in general), mexico, thailand, greece, turkey, canada, iceland, norway, holland, paris, italy, etc..
*walk santiago pilgrimage
*ride a harley or similar
*go to celtic connection festival again
*have my baby
*write more
*see estelle, mo, sam, leti, elisa...mike again
*be a warrior of light
*never lose my friends in the way.
*see mervin smale before he dies
*see alanis morrisette
*go to that Mali festival
*speak french.
*dance flamenco..
*learn windsurfing ..
*go back to the mountain cottage with the fireplace and the storm
*be happy
*have a scootter
*get rid off personal complex and manias
 +visit Mayte some day:)
i cant be happier.. al the universe is already conspiring...


and for you all---- i wish you all

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR
Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,..
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh,..

Stay with me,..
Let’s just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win, aw huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,..
Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world
To make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You’re all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw huh,..
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one know this more than me.
As I come clean.

Nothing you would take,..
everything you gave.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side. 

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR
Un soplo de aire fresco por el colchón
y al poco una quietud sorprendente,
bajo cero el silencio del refrigerador,
cerré los ojos de ganas de verte .

Cuando noté que no estabas llegó el terror,
eché la culpa al alcohol que tomaba,
a la pinta del cielo, qué mala, por Dios,
y estaba muerto de miedo y cantaba ...
y cantaba ...

No tienen sexo los ángeles,
no tienen sexo los ángeles.

Te quitaste de en medio con radipez,
como en la vez en que no supe nada.
El aire helado que fuiste y que vino a traición
quedó divino de muerte en mi espalda.

No pude darme la vuelta o mirar atrás,
cobarde ante una pared desnuda y blanca.
Por la mañana miré hacia el sol cegador
y vi la vida mejor y no me gustaba ...
y no me gustaba ...

No tienen sexo los ángeles,
no tienen sexo los ángeles,
no tienen sexo los ángeles,
no ... 

razones

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

Te echo de menos, le digo al aire,
te busco, te pienso, te siento
y siento que como tú no habrá nadie.
Yo aquí te espero, con mi cajita de la vida,
cansada, a oscuras, con miedo
y este frío nadie me lo quita.

Tengo razones para buscarte,
tengo necesidad de verte, de oírte, de hablarte.
Tengo razones para esperarte
porque no creo que haya en el mundo nadie más a quien ame.
Tengo razones, razones de sobra
para pedirle al viento que vuelvas aunque sea como una sombra.
Tengo razones para no quererte olvidar
porque el trocito de felicidad
fuiste tú quien me lo dio a probar.

El aire huele a ti,
mi casa se cae porque no estás aquí,
mis sábanas, mi pelo, mi ropa te buscan a ti.
Mis pies son como cartón
que voy arrastrando por cada rincón,
mi cama se hace fría y gigante
y en ella me pierdo yo.

Mi casa se vuelve a caer,
mis flores se mueren de pena,
mis lágrimas son charquitos
que caen a mis pies.
Te mando besos de agua

que hagan un hueco en tu calma,
te mando besos de agua

para que bañen tu cuerpo y tu alma,

te mando besos de agua
pá que curen tus heridas,
te mando besos de agua
de esos con los que tanto te reías. 

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

pablo neruda esta noche

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR
No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño."

catorce vidas son dos gatos

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR


CATORCE VIDAS SON DOS GATOS

Cuánto se grito diciendo nada

No pudimos ver con tanta luz

Yo buscaba el cielo en tu mirada

Y nunca sabré lo que encontraste tú.

Que te traigan flores las mañanas

Que no pases noches sin dormir

Que un sueño se pose en tus pestañas

Uno de esos sueños que me sueña a mí.

Detrás del viento un huracán

Se fue formando en la cabeza

Cuando te cansas de sufrir, siempre me dejas.

Mi corazón es de cristal

No guarda nada que no veas

Sólo un pequeño resplandor de nuestra hoguera.

Mi canción que nace del fracaso

Es sólo una piel sobre la piel

Algo que se besa y sabe amargo

Es mi boca seca, nada que beber.

Pobre corazón que no sabe que decir

Si te vas por lo que soy

O por lo que nunca fui.

Hay caminos que hay que andar descalzo

Ya no te preocupes más por mí

Siempre me entra arena en los zapatos

Esta vez me quedo aquí.

Si te cabe el cielo en un abrazo

Siempre habrá una estrella para ti

Si catorce vidas son dos gatos

Aún queda mucho por vivir…

la lluvia cae

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR
Si, ay si temblor
la lluvia cae en soledad
si, ay si temblor
no llamas y no vendrás

Ahora recuerdo tus manos
tu ausencia da soledad
en mi calle ya no hay críos
y mi jardín seco esta

Ahora recuerdo tu cara
tu fantasma quiere hablar
y junto a mi está en la cama
pero calor no me da

Juntos hicimos la casa
a imagen de nuestro amor
fuiste y quedó tu fantasma
y la casa se cayó

Ahora recuerdo tu risa
que lagrimas nos costó
y ahora ya no somos nada
ni tu fantasma ni yo. Si...

Los días se quedan en nada
recuerdos de nuestro amor
le doy pena a tu fantasma
y consuelo a mi dolor

Ahora recuerdo tus ojos
clavados en mi canción
y mi canción me recuerda
a mi fantasma mi amor.

amor vs temor

Amor y temor
Cualquier acción emprendida por los seres humanos se basa en el amor o en el temor.
El temor es la energía que contrae, cierra, capta, huye, oculta, acumula y daña.
El amor es la energía que se expande, abre, emite, permanece, revela, comparte y sana.
El temor cubre nuestros cuerpos de ropa, el amor nos permite permanecer desnudos.
El temor se aferra a todo lo que tenemos; el amor lo regala.
El temor prohíbe, el amor quiere.
El temor agarra, el amor deja ir.
El temor duele, el amor alivia.
El temor ataca, el amor repara.
Cualquier pensamiento, palabra, o acto humano se basa en una emoción o la otra, aunque tenemos libre albedrío respecto a cuál de los dos hay que escoger

the warrior

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

In Search of the Dream
	In Search of the Dream
	Those who dare having a project in life, foregoing everything to live their Personal Legend, will end up achieving anything. The important thing is to keep the fire in your heart and be strong to overcome hard moments. Remember, the desires that are in our souls do not come from the nothingness; someone put them there. And this someone, who is pure love and only wishes our happiness, only did it because he gave us, together with these desires, the tools to make them happen. The risky climb In the middle of a storm, a pilgrim reaches an inn and the owner asks where he is going. “I’m going to the mountains,” he answers. “Forget it,” says the innkeeper, “it’s a risky climb, and the weather is awful.” “But I’m going up,” answers the pilgrim, “if my heart gets there first, it will be easy to follow it with my body.” What’s the price? “Is the price of living a dream much higher than the price of living without daring to dream?” asked the disciple. The master took him to a clothes store. There, he asked him to try on a suit in exactly his size. The disciple obeyed, and was very amazed at the quality of the clothes. Then the master asked him to try on the same suit – but this time a size much bigger than his own. The disciple did as he was asked. “This one is no use. It’s too big.” “How much are these suits?” the master asked the shop attendant. “They both cost the same price. It’s just the size that is different.” When leaving the store, the master told his disciple, “Living your dream or giving it up also costs the same price, which is usually very high. But the first lets us share the miracle of life, and the second is of no use to us.” The Search of the Path “I am willing to leave everything. Please, take me as a disciple.” “How does a man choose his Path?” “Through sacrifice. A path that demands sacrifice is a true path.” The abbot bumped into a bookcase. A very rare vase fell down and the young man threw himself to the floor to pick it up. He fell the wrong way and broke his arm. But he was able to save the vase. “Which sacrifice is greater, to see the vase breaking down our breaking an arm to save it?” “I don’t know.” “So then, do not try to guide your choice through sacrifice. The path is chosen by our capacity of compromising with each step we make while we walk.” The Drunkard Disciple A Zen master had hundreds of disciples. They all prayed at the right time, except one, who was always drunk. The master was growing old. Some of the more virtuous pupils began to wonder who would be the new leader of the group, the one who would receive the important secrets of the Tradition. On the eve of his death, however, the master called the drunkard disciple and revealed the hidden secrets to him. A veritable revolt broke out among the others. “How shameful!” they cried in the streets, “We have sacrificed ourselves for the wrong master, one who can’t see our qualities.” Hearing the commotion outside, the dying master remarked, “I had to pass on these secrets to a man that I knew well. All my pupils are very virtuous, and showed only their qualities. That is dangerous, for virtue often serves to hide vanity, pride and intolerance. That is why I chose the only disciple whom I know really well, since I can see his defect: drunkenness.”

fake plastic trees

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

 her green plastic watering can
For her fake Chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth.
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself.
It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out.

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns.
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins.
And it wears him out, it wears him out.
It wears him out, it wears . . .

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love.
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run.
And it wears me out, it wears me out.
It wears me out, it wears me out.

And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time.
 

may..

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

mirror (sylvia plath)

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

Mirror

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
What ever you see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful---
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.

love

"Love dispels fear just as light dispels darkness. If even for a moment you have been in love with someone, fear disappears and thinking stops. With fear thinking continues. The more you are afraid, the more you have to think."

~ Osho

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR

va por ti..

jueves 12 de octubre de 2006 Blog del detective amaestrado..

Verdad o consecuencia

Las tardes de mi preadolescencia no tendrían el mismo color si no fuera por ese juego. Nos poníamos en corro chicos y chicas, y la cosa consistía en que, cuando a tí te tocaba, podía ser verdad o consecuencia. Si te tocaba verdad, tenías que contestar sinceramente (la pregunta era invariable, ¿te gusta fulanito/a?) y si, por el contrario te correspondía consecuencia, pues a cumplir una penitencia (invariable también, "dale un beso a no sé quien"). Maldita sea la hora en que decidimos dejar de practicar este juego. Como me gustaría saber ciertas verdades a estas alturas. Y que gratificante sería que me mandaran determinadas consecuencias. Tanto que luchamos siempre por recuperar las tradiciones arcaicas, deberíamos propiciar una oenegé que se dedicara al rescate de éstas. Creo que contaríamos con bastantes adeptos. Espero que los que reivindiquen volver a jugar a médicos y enfermos no lo hagan demasiado realista, introduciendo las temidas listas de espera.

Hay algunas verdades personales. Me da miedo que, cuando alguien empieza un régimen alimenticio, sea el corazón el que pierda peso. Sería una faena que uno se quede fuera por una cuestión de dieta.

Y hay también consecuencias maravillosas, como lo es el descubrir esta maravilla de poema de Vanesa Pérez-Sauquillo.

éste es mi contestador automático.

Para herir, simplemente, marque 1.

Para contar mentiras que me crea, marque 2.

Para las confesiones trasnochadas, marque 4.

Para interpretaciones literarias

producto del alcohol, marque 6.

Para poemas, marque almohadilla.

Para cortar definitivamente la comunicación,

no marque nada, pero tampoco cuelgue,

titubee en el teléfono

(a ser posible durante varios meses)

hasta que note que voy abandonando el aparato

a intervalos de tiempo cada vez mas largos.

No desespere. Aguante.

Espere a que sea yo la que se rinda.

Le evitará cualquier remordimiento.

Gracias.

Conducía hoy camino de la playa de Amadores, no me digan que no es un nombre precioso para tumbarse al sol. Es muy difícil no sentirse bien en un sitio así. Intentaré volver lo antes posible, pensé al salir. Afortunadamente, lo hice. Mi cabeza aún sigue en las inmediaciones.

posted by El detective amaestrado at 9:23 PM

Mrs Fiddes says I am a SUPER STAR